Sunday, 13 April 2008




Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them
Leave them alone and they'll come home
Wagging their tails behind them

Anyone sane with a functioning brain
Would have doubted this ever could be
So it's no great surprise when we cut through the lies
That a much different story we see

Little Bo Peep fell fast asleep
A negligent shepherdess she
Didn't take care as to where her sheep were
So they went where they oughtn't to be

Adventurous of late they left through the gate
And wandered off down a long lane
Then over the bridge and under the bridge
Sheep aren't, you know, totally sane

Which is one reason why you should keep an eye
If not two on the innocent lambs
Or they'll likely stray, as they did on this day
And get into all sorts of jams

Or as in this case PIES! because Bray Fentos spies
Were lurking about in a truck
Out they did leap upon spying the sheep
And soon they had nabbed the whole flock

Making off with the sheep, who were stacked twenty deep
They were headed for t' nearest pie makers
Who were short of good meat for a tasty pie treat
And di'n't want to become veggie bakers

The sheep were a mess, they were in real distress
They had heard the men speak of their fate
And here's a surprise, they didn't want to be pies
So they needed a way to escape

But what could they do? They were almost int' stew
In a truck that was speeding through town
With no water nor food, yes, and someone had pooed
It was seriously getting them down!

Then Baabaara Ewe said "This just won't do!
We must leave before it's too late.
For if we stay here, it's my greatest fear,
We'll end up on sombody's plate!"

Fortunately a witness did see
All that had lately transpired
A sheepdog called Bob, who from his main job
Had been recently, almost, retired

Now in his spare time he liked to solve crime
Particularly if it rustled
He set off at speed when he saw sheep in need
And soon in on the act he had muscled

By sheer good luck he caught up with the truck
And he saw the tailgate tied with rope
So he had a good chew well, he simply had to
He weret' flock's one and only last hope

The tailgate dropped down in the middle of town
The sheep gave an almighty cheer
Then Bob barked "Don't stand there, obey my command! Er,
And let's get the flock out of here!"

The sheep paid good heed and at once did stampede
Up the road and right out of the town
Herded by Bob, who was good at his job
And soon calmed the woolly heads down

He returned all the sheep to Little Bo Peep
Who had so called slept through the whole thing
But a twitching arose from Bob's keen sleuthing nose
When he saw she was covered in bling

Many had heard how little Bo cared
For her sheep and they thought it a fact
That she'd sold off her flock just to make a quick buck
And her big sleep was just a big act

But to make it legit' and to keep out o't' shit
She'd had the men 'steal' them away
Alas now she'd been caught 'cos of bling that she'd bought
And had no more sense than display

Bo Peep left her job, which was given to Bob
As the farmer arranged a surprise
He butchered the cheat, bling bling hater of sheep
And she ended up in the pies.